An art critic, I am not

My understanding of and appreciation for art is very much on a layman's level -- I made it through exactly one lecture of an art history class in college before I realized there was no way I was going to be able to make it through.

But I was in need of some inspiration, and there was an exhibit I wanted to see, so I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York yesterday.
There also was Cai Guo-Qiang's "Transparent Monument," which became a little disturbing when I noticed the dead birds at the base. I don't know, I guess I just wasn't expecting something like this at the Met.

(I just hope someone's not getting paid under the table by the maker of some window-cleaning product.)

Easily amused

Hey, wow, that last one went up right at midnight. Neat.

Decisions, decisions

I’m fortunate enough to have a little bit of cash in the bank, and luckily I haven’t felt the need to go blow it all in one foolish swoop.

I do, however, wonder if I should try to con some friends into letting me crash with them for some indefinite period of time while I subsist on Cheetos and plant myself on the couch for, oh, six or seven months. (Although I have just managed to drag myself back to the gym on a regular basis, so maybe I won’t do exactly that. But you get the drift.)

But it occurs to me that I went straight from high school graduation through college either in class or at a summer job, then had about one week between graduation and an internship, which led into my first job.

And I guess this is what most people do, so I’m not going to get much sympathy.

Still, if anyone wants a houseguest for an indeterminate period of time, let me know.

I’m free beginning Dec. 13*.

* Why Dec. 13, you ask?

Well, I’m on the hook for relocation expenses if I bolt before one year, so I’m going to tough it out. being the upstanding sort that I am, I feel it’s best to give my employer one year before I tell them I’m moving on.

How much do I value employment?

My company just pulled the plug on a nine-figure project that was around for less than a year.

We also have an internal Web site where we're encouraged to submit ideas on how to save money for the company.

Question: Should I suggest we don't spend $100 million-plus on projects that are doomed from the start?

Their cars are the bomb

It seems an auto dealer in Ohio thought it would be a good idea to "poke a little fun at radical extremists" by using a jihad-themed ad to sell cars.

(And note the headline writer's use of the word 'blasted.' Please tell me this was intentional.)

Although the person who wrote the ad copy is a little off here, I think. The ads are claiming that the dealership sells cars that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back," when the better approach would obviously be to go with 40 virgins.

I need my tunes

If there's any question as to why our landfills are filling so rapidly, consider the case of disposable consumer electronics.

My car CD player recently crapped out on me, so I went to a car stereo shop to see what it might cost to get it fixed. Turns out, it's not much cheaper than buying a new one. And when you factor in the amount of time it would take to send the deck back to the manufacturer to get it repaired and sent back, it's pretty much an even swap to buy a new one. No, I really can't live that long without music in the car.

(Also, my old deck died a mere four months after the warranty expired. Convenient, huh?)

So I have a shiny new car CD player now, complete with bells and whistles I don't really need. It does have a port to connect an iPod, which is nice, except for the fact they want $100 for the connecting cable. I don't think so.

It also is ready to receive satellite radio as well as something called HD Radio. As if regular radio were not craptacular enough, I have the option to receive several hundred more stations I won't listen to. Again, I don't think so.

(And I know I seem to be using "crap" a lot in this post. Crap, crap, crappity-crap-crap. Just got off a long day at work, OK?)

Although the saving grace for my day at work was stumbling across this post about a New Zealand badminton team at the ever-entertaining Deadspin.

I'll let that speak for itself.

This is not a complaint (I think)

My group at work recently switched to a four-day work week, which, aside from having the highly coveted Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday weekend, I like. But it does mean spending 11 hours in the office on each day I work, which can drive one a little stir crazy.

(And it would be a bit more tolerable if not for the presence of one co-worker, who often leads me to fantasize about pro wrestling-style folding chair beatings. But I'm trying not to complain, so I'll save that for a future post.)

But here's what I'm wondering: My boss approached me yesterday and asked if I'd like to switch schedules. (Oh, I generally work from 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. Hooray!) Anyway, I was offered a day shift and a slightly better weekend. Now, I've worked nights for the past seven years, so basically I've had the same sleep schedule since college. So, the idea of actually getting up in the morning is a bit intimidating.

Thus, the question: Do I go to the more normal schedule or use this opportunity to say I'll stay on nights but push for a better weekend?

So close, yet so far ...

According to a Harvard study, I am merely 100 miles and one x chromosome away from being among the Americans with the longest life expectancy.

(And yes, I'm just as surprised as you that New Jersey would, as it turns out, foster longevity. Maybe there's some sort of preserving effect in all of those chemicals.)

xcfdhuyg809=[-p

Since I do not have a cat, what you see in the title is my simulation of what it might look like if a cat lightly walked across my keyboard.

And why would I try to do that? Excellent question!

Lucky for you, someone is worried about preventing feline interference with your computer. PawSense, the site boasts, will "catproof your computer" because it "quickly detects and blocks cat typing."

And: "If you carefully measure cat paws, you will find that practically all cat paws are significantly larger than a typical keyboard key. ... This forces keys and often key combinations down in a distinctive style of typing which includes unusual timing patterns. Cats' patterns of overall movement in walking or lying down also help make their typing more recognizable."

I wish I could go into all the ways I know love PawSense, but you'll just have to check out the site for yourself.

One nagging question: What happens if your cat knows how to work the mouse?

(And as for how I even found this site, I was looking for PAWS, the typing tutor software we all know and love from our childhood. Although now that I think about it, you might not want to try to use PAWS on a computer that has PawSense installed. I'm pretty sure that opens some kind of vortex to another dimension.)

A newfound freedom

In the past week, I have been to:

1. A dinner party at which I did not know the hosts.

2. A birthday dinner for a person I did not know.

3. Brunch with a person I had not seen in eight years.

4. A wedding where I knew only the bride and groom.

And I had quite a good time at all of these events. So I figure, at this point, why bother limiting myself to attending events where I have any sort of connection? If I pulled those off, what's to stop me from becoming the next great party crasher?

On a side note, I'm doing quite well on my summer goal of not being here. In the past 10 days, I've been in Connecticut for fewer than four days, a ratio I'll gladly accept. So as long as my friends in D.C. and New York don't start throwing up their arms in despair and mumbling, "Him? Again?" I think I'll be fine.