Birdbrain

Some time ago, I stumbled across a dog IQ test. (Or maybe it was the TV Goddess who found it. I can't remember, which is a fairly good sign of the direction in which this post is headed.)

Anyhow, I decided that I could pass Test 2 in at least 29 seconds, so I'm ahead of the curve there. But recent events have led me to wonder if I should be comparing my intelligence to something more appropriate, such as a bird.

You see, when I was in San Francisco, I went to dim sum with a friend at a well-known place near the Financial District, so it was packed at lunchtime. They gave us one of those pager things that restaurants give out, so we left to wander around while we waited. Or at least that was the plan. Having somehow forgotten that we opened a door to get into the restaurant, I tried to leave without using said door.

Maybe it was the pretty lights and water display out in the courtyard, but I honestly didn't see the door and managed to plant my face, slapstick-comedy style, into the glass. I mumbled "I'm OK" to my friend, opened the door, and scooted as far from the restaurant as I could, as quickly as possible. After determining I was clear of anyone who might be pointing and laughing -- and that I was uninjured -- we wound up going back to the restaurant to wait.

So as we waited for our table, I got the pleasure of seeing a perfect replica of the right side of my face smudged into the glass, with wide spots spreading where my cheek and upper lip were smooshed into the door. It actually was a striking portrait, what with the capturing of the exact moment the bridge of my nose hit the glass and I began to let out a stiffled "ow."

Art is pain, right?