Everything's falling apart

So I had a wonderful weekend in my hometown over the weekend, where I went for an early 30th birthday party. Some friends put together a barbecue, and a swell time was had by all.

On Monday, the actual anniversary of my birth, I came down with a sore throat. Earlier today, it morphed into a full-blown cold, which is lovely in the 95-degree heat and high humidity we're having this week.

Also today, I went to the DMV to attempt to get a driver's license. I say "attempt," because my application was denied when the clerk declared me blind. (OK, not really, but I was failed on the vision test after I couldn't read one group of letters.) I contend something was off with the machine, but I dutifully went off to the eye doctor to get certification that I can, in fact, see.

I did learn, though, that I need glasses, which is a nice belated birthday present. The doctor was nice enough to say I probably can hold off for a month or two until my vision plan at work kicks in.

So now that my body has decided to completely shut down in the couple of days after my 30th, I expect that by this time next week I'll be dealing with incontinence, hypertension and osteoporosis. As this relates to you, the reader, you might want to start sucking up now so I'll include you in my will.