... Happy New Year to my ones of readers.I plan to drink heavily tonight (if you read that last post, I assure you I won't be alone, so no need to worry) and I hope you have a wonderful night, too.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Oh, and ....
... Happy New Year to my ones of readers.I plan to drink heavily tonight (if you read that last post, I assure you I won't be alone, so no need to worry) and I hope you have a wonderful night, too.
Early (for me) morning ramble
For whatever the reason I've been thinking a lot about friendship the past few days. Maybe it's the holidays. Or maybe it's just another one of the odd things my brain throws out there every now and then.
(Example: This morning, I woke from a dream in which I was trying to convince a group to meet at Laclede's Landing for dinner. Laclede's Landing? I had no idea, either. It turns out it's in St. Louis. I've been to St. Louis once, and stayed in a hotel at Laclede's Landing. I did not eat in the area. But it left an impression, apparently.)
Anyway, my sister likes to tease that my definition if friendship is a little narrower than most people's, in that it often means I've been friends with someone since we were 6. And many of my friendships do date to elementary or middle school. But I also have very close friends I've met in just the past few years, so it's not purely a function of time.
Something a German teacher once said has stuck with me a lot -- that most Americans say they have dozens of "friends," because they'll say someone they just met and have had a drink or two with is a friend. On the other hand, most Europeans (well, maybe just those wacky Germans) have a definition closer to mine and thus have a much tighter circle of friends.
So, what's my point here? (Other than illustrating the dangers of blogging before one is fully awake.) Well, at the risk of sounding like a recluse, I haven't made much of an attempt to make friends here in Connecticut. The TV Goddess has suggested that this may be because I know I don't plan on being here long, and that's probably correct, but if I do wind up here much longer I've pretty much damned myself.
I think it's just because I like my definition of friendship and, honestly, I have enough friends -- most of whom I don't get to see nearly enough as it is. So I'd rather spend the precious free time I have reconnecting with them.
And absent my growing fear of dying alone in my apartment* because I don't have enough people who will check up on my well-being, I think I'm good with that.
* This was not helped by this week's re-run of 30 Rock, the rapidly improving NBC sitcom, in which Tina Fey's character faces the same fear after nearly choking multiple times and having to Heimlich herself.
(Example: This morning, I woke from a dream in which I was trying to convince a group to meet at Laclede's Landing for dinner. Laclede's Landing? I had no idea, either. It turns out it's in St. Louis. I've been to St. Louis once, and stayed in a hotel at Laclede's Landing. I did not eat in the area. But it left an impression, apparently.)
Anyway, my sister likes to tease that my definition if friendship is a little narrower than most people's, in that it often means I've been friends with someone since we were 6. And many of my friendships do date to elementary or middle school. But I also have very close friends I've met in just the past few years, so it's not purely a function of time.
Something a German teacher once said has stuck with me a lot -- that most Americans say they have dozens of "friends," because they'll say someone they just met and have had a drink or two with is a friend. On the other hand, most Europeans (well, maybe just those wacky Germans) have a definition closer to mine and thus have a much tighter circle of friends.
So, what's my point here? (Other than illustrating the dangers of blogging before one is fully awake.) Well, at the risk of sounding like a recluse, I haven't made much of an attempt to make friends here in Connecticut. The TV Goddess has suggested that this may be because I know I don't plan on being here long, and that's probably correct, but if I do wind up here much longer I've pretty much damned myself.
I think it's just because I like my definition of friendship and, honestly, I have enough friends -- most of whom I don't get to see nearly enough as it is. So I'd rather spend the precious free time I have reconnecting with them.
And absent my growing fear of dying alone in my apartment* because I don't have enough people who will check up on my well-being, I think I'm good with that.
* This was not helped by this week's re-run of 30 Rock, the rapidly improving NBC sitcom, in which Tina Fey's character faces the same fear after nearly choking multiple times and having to Heimlich herself.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas
I noticed the HD yule log on TV today, but I have to go with the WPIX version that I remember fondly from my youth.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tax time tip
A friend who has an accounting background once joked that New Year's Eve babies are the best and kids born on New Year's Day are pretty much a waste, from a tax standpoint. (That being because a child born on Dec. 31 can be claimed as a dependent for the entire year.)
And now it seems there's evidence, according to The New York Times, that the tax-savvy are planning their procreation to take advantage of this.
I'm not really surprised by this or that interested, I just wanted an excuse to point out this accompanying chart, which shows that my birthday is the 100th most common from 1973-99. (And yes, that means I have the worst half-birthday ever!)
And now it seems there's evidence, according to The New York Times, that the tax-savvy are planning their procreation to take advantage of this.
I'm not really surprised by this or that interested, I just wanted an excuse to point out this accompanying chart, which shows that my birthday is the 100th most common from 1973-99. (And yes, that means I have the worst half-birthday ever!)
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Back to the daily grind
So I got back last night from my trip, and I'm happy to report the shiny new laptop performed quite well. It doesn't have the greatest battery life and it's a bit too heavy to lug around everywhere, but other than that I have no complaints. (By the way, a big thumbs down to the Dallas/Fort Worth airport, where the WiFi hotspots are controlled by a pay service which I will not give free advertising to, and a big thumbs up to the Portland airport, where access is free. And a very hearty thanks to all of you who leave your home wireless networks unsecured.)
Of course, 10 days away at the beginning of December means I'm woefully behind on my cards and gift-shopping. To paraphrase a line from D.L. Hughley (I think), you can expect them anytime you want; when they'll actually get to you is a different story.
But many thanks to those of you I saw during the trip, when I ate well, drank well and had an all-around outstanding time. I promise to get to everybody else soon.
Of course, 10 days away at the beginning of December means I'm woefully behind on my cards and gift-shopping. To paraphrase a line from D.L. Hughley (I think), you can expect them anytime you want; when they'll actually get to you is a different story.
But many thanks to those of you I saw during the trip, when I ate well, drank well and had an all-around outstanding time. I promise to get to everybody else soon.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Why yes, it *is* always about me
For whatever reason, my circle of family and friends is going through a baby boom right now.
Anyhow, it seems 2007 is going to be a banner year for babies around these parts. And as best I can tell, that just means I have a few fewer couches to crash on as I try to execute my master plan of becoming a non-contributing member of society.
Uh, I managed to get this out of the default font here, so if anyone knows what that is, I'd love to know.
My brain at work
I discovered today that one year away from P0rtland is long enough for my brain to begin forcing out what it considers non-essential information, such as which bus line to take back to my sister's place.
My sister lives just up the road from my old place, and one of the things I liked about my place was that four bus lines stopped at the end of my block. So I dropped off my rental car this afternoon and took the train downtown, where I transferred to a bus to head back to my sister's place. And this is when my brain decided: "Hey, let's get on this bus, because it's a route we used to ride a lot."
This particular route follows the exact same path as the one I should have taken ... right up to my old stop. Unfortunately, it then veers off in another direction, which I slowly came to realize after 2 or 3 stops. Luckily, I was able to get off less than a mile from my sister's place. But today appears to be the beginning of monsoon season in Portland, so I had a bit of a damp trek up the hill.
So, not really a big deal, I guess. I just hope that more crucial information hasn't been pushed out of my head while I wasn't paying attention.
In other developments, I have to face the cold, hard truth that my vacation is ending tomorrow, and I'll be jetting back to the East Coast. On the bright side, we're heading into the time of year when you don't have to go long between holidays. Christmas and New Year's are coming up, and my company also observes the MLK and Presidents' Day holidays.
Under our new 4-day week, though, the bosses have become a bit of a stickler for hours, which became a bit complicated with us working 10-hour days but the company still doling out vacation in 8-hour blocks. For Christmas week, for example, we're working four 8-hour days to compensate. Instead of working three 10-hour days. I might understand the company not wanting to give us a "free" two hours off, but we have enough days throughout the year where we might work an extra 30 minutes here and an extra 20 minutes there -- and most of us aren't eligible for overtime -- so I think it's somewhat petty.
And I think I better stop right there, or I'll get rolling on a whole bunch of other work-related things that have grated at me a bit recently, but that the 4 of you who read this probably could not care less about.
My sister lives just up the road from my old place, and one of the things I liked about my place was that four bus lines stopped at the end of my block. So I dropped off my rental car this afternoon and took the train downtown, where I transferred to a bus to head back to my sister's place. And this is when my brain decided: "Hey, let's get on this bus, because it's a route we used to ride a lot."
This particular route follows the exact same path as the one I should have taken ... right up to my old stop. Unfortunately, it then veers off in another direction, which I slowly came to realize after 2 or 3 stops. Luckily, I was able to get off less than a mile from my sister's place. But today appears to be the beginning of monsoon season in Portland, so I had a bit of a damp trek up the hill.
So, not really a big deal, I guess. I just hope that more crucial information hasn't been pushed out of my head while I wasn't paying attention.
In other developments, I have to face the cold, hard truth that my vacation is ending tomorrow, and I'll be jetting back to the East Coast. On the bright side, we're heading into the time of year when you don't have to go long between holidays. Christmas and New Year's are coming up, and my company also observes the MLK and Presidents' Day holidays.
Under our new 4-day week, though, the bosses have become a bit of a stickler for hours, which became a bit complicated with us working 10-hour days but the company still doling out vacation in 8-hour blocks. For Christmas week, for example, we're working four 8-hour days to compensate. Instead of working three 10-hour days. I might understand the company not wanting to give us a "free" two hours off, but we have enough days throughout the year where we might work an extra 30 minutes here and an extra 20 minutes there -- and most of us aren't eligible for overtime -- so I think it's somewhat petty.
And I think I better stop right there, or I'll get rolling on a whole bunch of other work-related things that have grated at me a bit recently, but that the 4 of you who read this probably could not care less about.
Friday, December 08, 2006
I'm going to pay for this in more than one way
I've been pretty much eating and spending my way through the past week, and there's still a good four days until I have to be a productive member of society again.
There's going to be a few extra trips to the gym when I get home, but it's been well worth it. I've been hitting some favorite spots here in Portland as well as new spots, and that's in addition to all the face-stuffing I did in Dallas. Oh, and I've been drinking a lot, too -- but that's not hard to do since I'm down to about one a week, if that, in Connecticut. (Still winning the struggle against that whole drinking alone thing, though sometimes I wonder if it's a fight worth fighting.)
On that other front, I'd been keeping a handle on spending lately after a summer of travel resulted in some alarming bills. But that's pretty much shot this month, and I still have a ways to go, as I've bought a grand total of one present and some greeting cards for Christmas.
Oh, but can I briefly revel in my first Christmas bonus ever? I started my job too late in the fiscal year to get one last year, but I got the full deal this year. It's not a huge bonus -- it'll be about a week's pay after the IRS gets done slicing and dicing -- but it's a nice sum to get this time of year.
And if you're nice to me, maybe you'll reap some benefits, too.
There's going to be a few extra trips to the gym when I get home, but it's been well worth it. I've been hitting some favorite spots here in Portland as well as new spots, and that's in addition to all the face-stuffing I did in Dallas. Oh, and I've been drinking a lot, too -- but that's not hard to do since I'm down to about one a week, if that, in Connecticut. (Still winning the struggle against that whole drinking alone thing, though sometimes I wonder if it's a fight worth fighting.)
On that other front, I'd been keeping a handle on spending lately after a summer of travel resulted in some alarming bills. But that's pretty much shot this month, and I still have a ways to go, as I've bought a grand total of one present and some greeting cards for Christmas.
Oh, but can I briefly revel in my first Christmas bonus ever? I started my job too late in the fiscal year to get one last year, but I got the full deal this year. It's not a huge bonus -- it'll be about a week's pay after the IRS gets done slicing and dicing -- but it's a nice sum to get this time of year.
And if you're nice to me, maybe you'll reap some benefits, too.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Come inside from the warm
The Off The Curve Vacation Party Bus has relocated to the great Northwest, but let us take you back to Texas for a moment.In getting with the holiday spirit, we went to see ICE! (their punctuation) at a large hotel/resort/convention center/Office Depot/munitions factory (only one of those is not true) in the burbs.
ICE! is your basic display of impressive ice sculptures. Except instead of being outdoors in a cooler locale such as Quebec or Sweden, it's in an exhibition hall that I'm guessing more frequently holds events for groups such as the Greater Ann Arbor Accountants Association (GAAAA).
Anyway, it's $20 bucks a head, with some of the cost going to benefit research into ways to close the giant hole in the ozone layer that's sure to develop over the Metroplex in the month or so that ICE! runs, as a result of whatever they're using to cool the exhibition hall to 9 degrees. (I just couldn't wait until January, when I will be able to experience 9 degrees for free.)
A few other fun facts we learned:
* 2 million pounds of ice was used in the display
* 40 Chinese artisans spent 34 days carving 5,000 blocks of ice
* Strollers and scooters are not allowed in the ICE! exhibit
Most of the photos I took don't do ICE! justice, but here are a few. And I might have better ones later, so stay tuned. It really was an impressive display, and there's a super fun ice slide at the end of the display.
Plus, you get to wear goofy looking parkas.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Deep in the heart of the Arctic
I arrived in Texas on Sunday to what local TV was describing as an "Arctic blast." I'm no meterorologist, so I'm not sure if that's possible, but I'll defer to the weathermen on this.
Anyhow, it has since warmed up into the 60s, just in time for me to head off to the chilly Northwest tomorrow.
And it seems my friends have plenty of neighbors willing to share their wireless connections, so I am, indeed, doing this on my shiny new laptop. (You're welcome, DeAnn.)
In the spirit of the brisk weather, we headed to the Stars-Sharks game last night.* I do love my hockey, but I am more excited about tonight, when we are headed out for what my friend has advertised as a "big hunk of red meat." I don't think I've had a steak since around Labor Day, but when you're in Texas, you just gotta do it.
More on this later, if I manage to survive.
* For Grande and C, your former company is a sponsor of some highlight package they show on the scoreboard here. Long way from their humble roots, huh?
Anyhow, it has since warmed up into the 60s, just in time for me to head off to the chilly Northwest tomorrow.
And it seems my friends have plenty of neighbors willing to share their wireless connections, so I am, indeed, doing this on my shiny new laptop. (You're welcome, DeAnn.)
In the spirit of the brisk weather, we headed to the Stars-Sharks game last night.* I do love my hockey, but I am more excited about tonight, when we are headed out for what my friend has advertised as a "big hunk of red meat." I don't think I've had a steak since around Labor Day, but when you're in Texas, you just gotta do it.
More on this later, if I manage to survive.
* For Grande and C, your former company is a sponsor of some highlight package they show on the scoreboard here. Long way from their humble roots, huh?
Sunday, December 03, 2006
You will hear from me for the next few days (or not)
I'm traveling with a laptop for the first time ever in a few hours (wow, where have I been for this century?), so you may or may not get updates from me for the next 10 or so days.
I do have a wireless card, so if I can find a free hotspot or just steal a signal, I'll make some posts.
(And send some good vibes my way so I manage to return home with the company's shiny new laptop in one piece and in working order.)
I do have a wireless card, so if I can find a free hotspot or just steal a signal, I'll make some posts.
(And send some good vibes my way so I manage to return home with the company's shiny new laptop in one piece and in working order.)
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Sleet? Really?
I tend to get information about the weather the old-fashioned way: you know, peer out the window to see if it looks like rain; open the door to feel how warm it is.
I don't watch local TV news, listen to news radio or read a local paper, so those sources are out.
But I do look at the little forecast box on my Yahoo home page to see what it's going to do that day. But it turns out I've been preparing for the wrong weather for, oh, the past year or so.
And while I was dreading going out into a 30-something degree chill just now, it's actually a quite nice 60-degree day. So, I'll be seeing you later.
I don't watch local TV news, listen to news radio or read a local paper, so those sources are out.
But I do look at the little forecast box on my Yahoo home page to see what it's going to do that day. But it turns out I've been preparing for the wrong weather for, oh, the past year or so.
And while I was dreading going out into a 30-something degree chill just now, it's actually a quite nice 60-degree day. So, I'll be seeing you later.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
tick...tick...tick...
You know it's going to be a long week at work when you're thinking about the end of the week before you've gone in for your first shift. That's where I find myself at this moment, a couple of hours before I'm due in the office for the first time this week.
It's mostly because I'm headed on vacation Sunday, and what better places could I pick to go in early December than Dallas and Portland? I probably should be headed to a warm beach somewhere for a carefree 10 days ahead of another New England winter, but if you recall, I also thought it was a swell idea to head to D.C. in July. (And I'll have you know I'm hoping my next trip will be to Central New York in late December.)
The only bright spot in the next four days, I think, will be the long-awaited new laptop I'm getting Thursday. (Again, you might recall -- and I know that's a big "might" given this blog's readership -- that this is a piece of equipment I don't plan to secure properly.*)
So if the new machine is properly equipped, I may be able to provide updates on how my vacation is going. If not, it's back to my old friend Kinkos for far-less-frequent and far-more-expensive updates.
* If I were smarter, I'd have set up this blog so I could link to individual posts in the archive. But I didn't, so find the posts yourselves, if you're so inclined. And you're probably not.
It's mostly because I'm headed on vacation Sunday, and what better places could I pick to go in early December than Dallas and Portland? I probably should be headed to a warm beach somewhere for a carefree 10 days ahead of another New England winter, but if you recall, I also thought it was a swell idea to head to D.C. in July. (And I'll have you know I'm hoping my next trip will be to Central New York in late December.)
The only bright spot in the next four days, I think, will be the long-awaited new laptop I'm getting Thursday. (Again, you might recall -- and I know that's a big "might" given this blog's readership -- that this is a piece of equipment I don't plan to secure properly.*)
So if the new machine is properly equipped, I may be able to provide updates on how my vacation is going. If not, it's back to my old friend Kinkos for far-less-frequent and far-more-expensive updates.
* If I were smarter, I'd have set up this blog so I could link to individual posts in the archive. But I didn't, so find the posts yourselves, if you're so inclined. And you're probably not.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Bah?
At the risk of sounding grinch-y, there are a few things that annoy me about this time of year:
1. People who camp out for Black Friday
2. Radio stations that switch to all Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving.
3. Folks who put wreaths on their cars.
Minor annoyances that are easily avoided, yes, but annoyances nonetheless.
But I believe today is the earliest I've ever bought a Christmas present for someone, so maybe the spirit is rubbing off on me.
1. People who camp out for Black Friday
2. Radio stations that switch to all Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving.
3. Folks who put wreaths on their cars.
Minor annoyances that are easily avoided, yes, but annoyances nonetheless.
But I believe today is the earliest I've ever bought a Christmas present for someone, so maybe the spirit is rubbing off on me.
Monday, November 27, 2006
aaargh...
Had a very nice day trip to New York yesterday. Hung out with a friend in Brooklyn, went to my first game at Madison Square Garden. Even the trip was easy*, as I managed to catch express trains both ways.
So I arrived home last night ready to plop down on the couch and watch to of my favoritist TV shows ever, only to find that my DVR had recorded ... well, nothing. Not even an error message saying my recordings had been interrupted. It's as if my DVR just decided, "Nope, not working on a holiday weekend."
Lucky for me, the Internets are filled with sites that are happy to oblige my cravings for "The Amazing Race," and HBO will replay "The Wire" about 2,341 more times this week.
But I'm watching you, Motorola DVR, and you better not try to pull any of this crap when I'm away for 10 days starting next week.
(*Well, aside from a brief struggle with weekend subway service. I won't go into the boring details, but for those of you who know the New York system, it involves track work and the annoying 6 train to F train transfer oddity.)
So I arrived home last night ready to plop down on the couch and watch to of my favoritist TV shows ever, only to find that my DVR had recorded ... well, nothing. Not even an error message saying my recordings had been interrupted. It's as if my DVR just decided, "Nope, not working on a holiday weekend."
Lucky for me, the Internets are filled with sites that are happy to oblige my cravings for "The Amazing Race," and HBO will replay "The Wire" about 2,341 more times this week.
But I'm watching you, Motorola DVR, and you better not try to pull any of this crap when I'm away for 10 days starting next week.
(*Well, aside from a brief struggle with weekend subway service. I won't go into the boring details, but for those of you who know the New York system, it involves track work and the annoying 6 train to F train transfer oddity.)
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Asking for trouble?
Forget global warming and nuclear proliferation.Scientists have created a robot that can sense when it's injured and figure out how to adapt.
I think I've seen how this one ends.
(As Slate points out, scientists say the robots going all evil on us is out of the question ... or is it?)
And although self-aware robots might get us closer to the future we all envisioned way back when, I still see no progress on the flying car front.
Can I at least get a jet pack?
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Breaking from the norm
I haven't discussed sports much here. Because, y'know, I gets paid to do that, mofos.
Anyway, Off The Curve's favorite sports site is Deadspin (home to the greatest commenters on the Web, BTW), and they've launched their Sportshuman of the Year tournament.
I just point this out because if you missed the Joe Mikulik clip over the summer, it's priceless.
Introducing the Sportshuman of the Year Tournament [Deadspin]
Anyway, Off The Curve's favorite sports site is Deadspin (home to the greatest commenters on the Web, BTW), and they've launched their Sportshuman of the Year tournament.
I just point this out because if you missed the Joe Mikulik clip over the summer, it's priceless.
Introducing the Sportshuman of the Year Tournament [Deadspin]
Sunday, November 12, 2006
(cont.)
To get back to what I was talking about -- and to try to get to some sort of point -- it's just interesting seeing a lot of these changes in my hometown, particularly since I've given some thought to returning.
A lot of folks will lament that my hometown is losing its small-town charm with all these big-box stores and chains moving in, but I also see that having the stores around can make life in a relatively rural area much more convenient. But it is impressive how quickly this has all occurred. Heck, we didn't even get Taco Bell until 1994 or so.
I'm just hoping the next step isn't someone buying up the old warehouses and factories in town and turning them into lofts that go for $300/sq.ft.
And, man, this is much too serious and not at all in keeping with the tone of every other post here, so I'm going to stop now.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Weekend musings
There's a scene in the pilot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which Xander refers to Sunnydale as a "one-Starbucks town," which I think is a great description for post-suburban life in these United States.
My hometown (pop. 30,000) has never lacked for coffee shops, but I was still a bit stunned when I rounded a downtown corner during a visit this past spring and blurted out to my friend the TV Goddess, "They got a Starbucks!"
I shouldn't have been that surprised, given the various multinational retail outlets that have popped up in recent years, but there was a time when having a Starbucks was a barometer for how hip your town was. (Yes, that era has come and gone, but things filter down to my hometown at a measured pace.)
Anyway, I was just getting used to the idea of the city having one Starbucks when I learned there will be a second one in January, and heard rumors the plan is to have four (!) in the not-too-distant future. But having formerly lived in a city where there were 73 Starbucks within a 5-mile radius, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.
I promise I'm going somewhere with this, but having just looked at the clock, there's somewhere I need to be.
But it's just work, so I'm pretty sure I'll get tired of that and get back to this in a bit.
My hometown (pop. 30,000) has never lacked for coffee shops, but I was still a bit stunned when I rounded a downtown corner during a visit this past spring and blurted out to my friend the TV Goddess, "They got a Starbucks!"
I shouldn't have been that surprised, given the various multinational retail outlets that have popped up in recent years, but there was a time when having a Starbucks was a barometer for how hip your town was. (Yes, that era has come and gone, but things filter down to my hometown at a measured pace.)
Anyway, I was just getting used to the idea of the city having one Starbucks when I learned there will be a second one in January, and heard rumors the plan is to have four (!) in the not-too-distant future. But having formerly lived in a city where there were 73 Starbucks within a 5-mile radius, I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.
I promise I'm going somewhere with this, but having just looked at the clock, there's somewhere I need to be.
But it's just work, so I'm pretty sure I'll get tired of that and get back to this in a bit.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Come up with a story and stick with it, damn it
Back in grade school, the Choose Your Own Adventure books might have been my favorite series.Or maybe it was the Encyclopedia Brown books, but there was always a huge sense of anticipation when the big box arrived from the book company.
I also remember that it was a nice scam for teachers on book day, because they got a full morning of distracted-kids time.
It's also an excellent way for writers who are too wishy-washy to stick with a plot to earn a living.
If I remember right, the points in the book where you had to choose how your adventure would proceed usually involved some sort of choice between "right" and "wrong." Pick "wrong" too often, and your story came to an abrupt end. So you weren't allowed to be the bad guy, which might be all idealistic and all, but isn't very realistic.
Anyhow, Something Awful found a bunch of books in the series that didn't make the cut.
Choose Your Own Adventure Books That Never Quite Made It [Something Awful]
Fun in a closed booth
I was in a voting booth for the first time in about a decade yesterday, which is not to say it was the first time I had voted in that span.
As easy as it is to poke fun at Oregon for being a backward, crunchy state, it did have the neat feature of requiring people to vote by mail. I did think it was odd that they began accepting ballots weeks before Election Day, and I concede that there are questions about a process where you can't really confirm that the person whose name is on the ballot actually did the voting. But I'll still take it over the e-voting machines.
Anyhow, Oregon also manages to put together a fairly decent election guide that is mailed to everybody. (Though, because Oregon is a dreaded initiative state, the guide often tends to resemble the yellow pages.)
So I realized last week that I didn't have a clue about what I was supposed to be voting on this week here in CT. I did some quick research on the major candidates and was able to make some relatively informed decisions there, but I apologize for any poor choices I might have made when I was randomly pulling levers for the other offices.
I know I should have not voted for those positions, but I was overcome by my giddiness over being in an actual voting booth. It's fun to pull levers!
And now that I think about it, they should add flashing lights, bells and whistles to voting machines. Because if I represent the average American voter, that's pretty much what those booths are: democracy slot machines.
As easy as it is to poke fun at Oregon for being a backward, crunchy state, it did have the neat feature of requiring people to vote by mail. I did think it was odd that they began accepting ballots weeks before Election Day, and I concede that there are questions about a process where you can't really confirm that the person whose name is on the ballot actually did the voting. But I'll still take it over the e-voting machines.
Anyhow, Oregon also manages to put together a fairly decent election guide that is mailed to everybody. (Though, because Oregon is a dreaded initiative state, the guide often tends to resemble the yellow pages.)
So I realized last week that I didn't have a clue about what I was supposed to be voting on this week here in CT. I did some quick research on the major candidates and was able to make some relatively informed decisions there, but I apologize for any poor choices I might have made when I was randomly pulling levers for the other offices.
I know I should have not voted for those positions, but I was overcome by my giddiness over being in an actual voting booth. It's fun to pull levers!
And now that I think about it, they should add flashing lights, bells and whistles to voting machines. Because if I represent the average American voter, that's pretty much what those booths are: democracy slot machines.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Bastards!
My gym put out punch, cookies and candy today for Halloween.
Explanation A: They got into the holiday spirit.
Explanation B: These bastards don't care about my attempts at weight loss and just want my monthly dues.
I'm gonna go with B. And no, I didn't take anything.
Explanation A: They got into the holiday spirit.
Explanation B: These bastards don't care about my attempts at weight loss and just want my monthly dues.
I'm gonna go with B. And no, I didn't take anything.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
The inner foodie rears its ugly head
One of the nice things about living relatively close to New York is the food. My current home state is a bit of a gustatory wasteland -- Thai is still adventurous here -- though I have my choice of pretty much any terrible suburban chain restaurant I like.
Alas, my recent attempts to get back to going to the gym on a regular basis mean I just tend to drool over reviews of the latest NYC restaurants. (Also, it seems a wee bit much to go to New York just to eat, but maybe I'm being too practical.) But I'll be damned if I don't make it to this place in the near future.
Burger, fries and wings? My heart just melted ... in a pool of cholesterol.
BLT Empire Storms Burgerland [New York]
BLT Burger: From Rumor to The Robs in 21 Days [Eater]
Alas, my recent attempts to get back to going to the gym on a regular basis mean I just tend to drool over reviews of the latest NYC restaurants. (Also, it seems a wee bit much to go to New York just to eat, but maybe I'm being too practical.) But I'll be damned if I don't make it to this place in the near future.
Burger, fries and wings? My heart just melted ... in a pool of cholesterol.
BLT Empire Storms Burgerland [New York]
BLT Burger: From Rumor to The Robs in 21 Days [Eater]
Friday, October 27, 2006
Fire bad
I have quite the symphony going in my apartment.
The toilet always runs, and I hoped that would result in a pleasant gurgle not unlike that of a stream. Alas, it's more of a someone-left-the-garden-hose-on hiss, but I can block it out if I turn my head just so when I'm in bed.
More annoying is the heating system, which emits a low hum most of the time. The vents also rattle a lot, which means I have to give several of them a good kick once or twice a day.
And still, I could handle all that if I didn't have to also get the crap scared out of me multiple times per day by bangs and crashes when the heating system is shutting down or revving up.
It reminds me of the furnace we had in our house when I was a kid. From what I understand, there was something wrong with whatever controlled the air mixture, so when the furnace fired up, you'd occasionally get a small explosion. There were reports you could see the flame shooting out of the furnace, but I never managed to see this for myself.
I am still stunned my parents didn't replace the furnace until they sold the house, but it seems getting blown up was not high on their list of concerns. But I tend to be a little wary of open flames, considering I once managed to turn a barbecue propane tank into a blowtorch. (The hose wasn't tightly connected.)
Now that will add some excitement to your cookout.
The toilet always runs, and I hoped that would result in a pleasant gurgle not unlike that of a stream. Alas, it's more of a someone-left-the-garden-hose-on hiss, but I can block it out if I turn my head just so when I'm in bed.
More annoying is the heating system, which emits a low hum most of the time. The vents also rattle a lot, which means I have to give several of them a good kick once or twice a day.
And still, I could handle all that if I didn't have to also get the crap scared out of me multiple times per day by bangs and crashes when the heating system is shutting down or revving up.
It reminds me of the furnace we had in our house when I was a kid. From what I understand, there was something wrong with whatever controlled the air mixture, so when the furnace fired up, you'd occasionally get a small explosion. There were reports you could see the flame shooting out of the furnace, but I never managed to see this for myself.
I am still stunned my parents didn't replace the furnace until they sold the house, but it seems getting blown up was not high on their list of concerns. But I tend to be a little wary of open flames, considering I once managed to turn a barbecue propane tank into a blowtorch. (The hose wasn't tightly connected.)
Now that will add some excitement to your cookout.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Heartless prick or innocent bystander?
So I was at the bagel shop yesterday, and there was a woman at the counter, with the employee ringing up someone at the register.
I got into the express line, which is for people who just want bagels to go -- no slicing, toasting, etc. The other customer was in the regular line.
The employee then comes up to me and begins to take my order, at which point the woman in the other line speaks up: "I was here first."
At this point the employee and me both realize the customer is deaf or hearing impaired, and we apologize simultaneously. So the other customer gets her order taken, and another guy comes from the back to take care of me*, and I feel guilty for cutting in front of this woman.
But, I don't know if it's the store's policy to automatically serve someone in the express line first. Or, since there were only two customers, should they get to the one who was there first? And should I feel guilty at all?
* Upon reading this, I should point out that by "take care of me," I mean get my bagels, not punch me out for being an insensitive jerk. And I'm not even going to get into the other possible interpretation of "take care of me."
I got into the express line, which is for people who just want bagels to go -- no slicing, toasting, etc. The other customer was in the regular line.
The employee then comes up to me and begins to take my order, at which point the woman in the other line speaks up: "I was here first."
At this point the employee and me both realize the customer is deaf or hearing impaired, and we apologize simultaneously. So the other customer gets her order taken, and another guy comes from the back to take care of me*, and I feel guilty for cutting in front of this woman.
But, I don't know if it's the store's policy to automatically serve someone in the express line first. Or, since there were only two customers, should they get to the one who was there first? And should I feel guilty at all?
* Upon reading this, I should point out that by "take care of me," I mean get my bagels, not punch me out for being an insensitive jerk. And I'm not even going to get into the other possible interpretation of "take care of me."
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
I don't, either
I wish I could find a video clip of this, but I'm too lazy to do a thorough search. But I'm sure it will show up on GooTube* eventually, or you can find it on HBO some time this month.
But I was watching the Wanda Sykes special over the weekend, and it struck me when she said that as she gets older, she increasingly doesn't give a fuck about things.
So instead of getting more and more annoyed by some little things at work that are beginning to grate on me, I no longer give a fuck.
Here's hoping it won't be long before I can find a situation where I do.
* I was hoping there might be the slightest chance that I was clever enough to have coined this term, but a quick Web search shows I am nowhere near the cleverest person around. Or even the 1,630,000th-cleverest person around.
But I was watching the Wanda Sykes special over the weekend, and it struck me when she said that as she gets older, she increasingly doesn't give a fuck about things.
So instead of getting more and more annoyed by some little things at work that are beginning to grate on me, I no longer give a fuck.
Here's hoping it won't be long before I can find a situation where I do.
* I was hoping there might be the slightest chance that I was clever enough to have coined this term, but a quick Web search shows I am nowhere near the cleverest person around. Or even the 1,630,000th-cleverest person around.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Office science project(s)
If I had been on the ball, I would have taken a picture of this cupcake months ago, when it was first placed atop the cube next to mine.But this was the state it was in last week. I fear that it has withered as much as it is going to, but if there are further changes I will post a new photo. The subject has gone from light, fluffly cupcake to rock hard over the past couple of months, and we have avoided the ant invasion I expected.
This, by the way, is a cupcake mix product, so I'll just leave you to imagine the loads of preservatives that are in this thing.
Elsewhere in the office is a very distressed Peep that has been getting sadder by the day since Easter. If I remember to, I will get a shot of that experiment, too.
Lest you think my workplace is filled with slobs -- well, it kinda is.
We're getting a couple of new people over the next few weeks, and one of my co-workers was kind enough to clean out the cube that's currently used as the staging area for our take-out food. Needless to say, the cube was a little grody. (Man, when was the last time you heard that word?) Anyway, hot water and a scrub pad failed to sufficiently remove the layers of kung pao sauce, salsa, pizza cheese, etc. that had built up since the cube was last occupied, so my co-worker went off in search of something stronger.
The cleaning product he returned with had an odd odor of pine and lemon, which pretty much overwhelmed the office within seconds. I did note that, as stated in bold lettering near the top of the can, this product is certified to kill HIV.
I'm not sure what the person who buys our cleaning supplies thinks goes on in this place, but obviously I'm missing out on something.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
An art critic, I am not
My understanding of and appreciation for art is very much on a layman's level -- I made it through exactly one lecture of an art history class in college before I realized there was no way I was going to be able to make it through.
But I was in need of some inspiration, and there was an exhibit I wanted to see, so I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York yesterday.
There also was Cai Guo-Qiang's "Transparent Monument," which became a little disturbing when I noticed the dead birds at the base. I don't know, I guess I just wasn't expecting something like this at the Met.
(I just hope someone's not getting paid under the table by the maker of some window-cleaning product.)
But I was in need of some inspiration, and there was an exhibit I wanted to see, so I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York yesterday.
There also was Cai Guo-Qiang's "Transparent Monument," which became a little disturbing when I noticed the dead birds at the base. I don't know, I guess I just wasn't expecting something like this at the Met.
(I just hope someone's not getting paid under the table by the maker of some window-cleaning product.)
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Decisions, decisions
I’m fortunate enough to have a little bit of cash in the bank, and luckily I haven’t felt the need to go blow it all in one foolish swoop.
I do, however, wonder if I should try to con some friends into letting me crash with them for some indefinite period of time while I subsist on Cheetos and plant myself on the couch for, oh, six or seven months. (Although I have just managed to drag myself back to the gym on a regular basis, so maybe I won’t do exactly that. But you get the drift.)
But it occurs to me that I went straight from high school graduation through college either in class or at a summer job, then had about one week between graduation and an internship, which led into my first job.
And I guess this is what most people do, so I’m not going to get much sympathy.
Still, if anyone wants a houseguest for an indeterminate period of time, let me know.
I’m free beginning Dec. 13*.
* Why Dec. 13, you ask?
Well, I’m on the hook for relocation expenses if I bolt before one year, so I’m going to tough it out. being the upstanding sort that I am, I feel it’s best to give my employer one year before I tell them I’m moving on.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
How much do I value employment?
My company just pulled the plug on a nine-figure project that was around for less than a year.
We also have an internal Web site where we're encouraged to submit ideas on how to save money for the company.
Question: Should I suggest we don't spend $100 million-plus on projects that are doomed from the start?
We also have an internal Web site where we're encouraged to submit ideas on how to save money for the company.
Question: Should I suggest we don't spend $100 million-plus on projects that are doomed from the start?
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Their cars are the bomb
It seems an auto dealer in Ohio thought it would be a good idea to "poke a little fun at radical extremists" by using a jihad-themed ad to sell cars.
(And note the headline writer's use of the word 'blasted.' Please tell me this was intentional.)
Although the person who wrote the ad copy is a little off here, I think. The ads are claiming that the dealership sells cars that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back," when the better approach would obviously be to go with 40 virgins.
(And note the headline writer's use of the word 'blasted.' Please tell me this was intentional.)
Although the person who wrote the ad copy is a little off here, I think. The ads are claiming that the dealership sells cars that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back," when the better approach would obviously be to go with 40 virgins.
Monday, September 18, 2006
I need my tunes
If there's any question as to why our landfills are filling so rapidly, consider the case of disposable consumer electronics.
My car CD player recently crapped out on me, so I went to a car stereo shop to see what it might cost to get it fixed. Turns out, it's not much cheaper than buying a new one. And when you factor in the amount of time it would take to send the deck back to the manufacturer to get it repaired and sent back, it's pretty much an even swap to buy a new one. No, I really can't live that long without music in the car.
(Also, my old deck died a mere four months after the warranty expired. Convenient, huh?)
So I have a shiny new car CD player now, complete with bells and whistles I don't really need. It does have a port to connect an iPod, which is nice, except for the fact they want $100 for the connecting cable. I don't think so.
It also is ready to receive satellite radio as well as something called HD Radio. As if regular radio were not craptacular enough, I have the option to receive several hundred more stations I won't listen to. Again, I don't think so.
(And I know I seem to be using "crap" a lot in this post. Crap, crap, crappity-crap-crap. Just got off a long day at work, OK?)
Although the saving grace for my day at work was stumbling across this post about a New Zealand badminton team at the ever-entertaining Deadspin.
I'll let that speak for itself.
My car CD player recently crapped out on me, so I went to a car stereo shop to see what it might cost to get it fixed. Turns out, it's not much cheaper than buying a new one. And when you factor in the amount of time it would take to send the deck back to the manufacturer to get it repaired and sent back, it's pretty much an even swap to buy a new one. No, I really can't live that long without music in the car.
(Also, my old deck died a mere four months after the warranty expired. Convenient, huh?)
So I have a shiny new car CD player now, complete with bells and whistles I don't really need. It does have a port to connect an iPod, which is nice, except for the fact they want $100 for the connecting cable. I don't think so.
It also is ready to receive satellite radio as well as something called HD Radio. As if regular radio were not craptacular enough, I have the option to receive several hundred more stations I won't listen to. Again, I don't think so.
(And I know I seem to be using "crap" a lot in this post. Crap, crap, crappity-crap-crap. Just got off a long day at work, OK?)
Although the saving grace for my day at work was stumbling across this post about a New Zealand badminton team at the ever-entertaining Deadspin.
I'll let that speak for itself.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
This is not a complaint (I think)
My group at work recently switched to a four-day work week, which, aside from having the highly coveted Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday weekend, I like. But it does mean spending 11 hours in the office on each day I work, which can drive one a little stir crazy.
(And it would be a bit more tolerable if not for the presence of one co-worker, who often leads me to fantasize about pro wrestling-style folding chair beatings. But I'm trying not to complain, so I'll save that for a future post.)
But here's what I'm wondering: My boss approached me yesterday and asked if I'd like to switch schedules. (Oh, I generally work from 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. Hooray!) Anyway, I was offered a day shift and a slightly better weekend. Now, I've worked nights for the past seven years, so basically I've had the same sleep schedule since college. So, the idea of actually getting up in the morning is a bit intimidating.
Thus, the question: Do I go to the more normal schedule or use this opportunity to say I'll stay on nights but push for a better weekend?
(And it would be a bit more tolerable if not for the presence of one co-worker, who often leads me to fantasize about pro wrestling-style folding chair beatings. But I'm trying not to complain, so I'll save that for a future post.)
But here's what I'm wondering: My boss approached me yesterday and asked if I'd like to switch schedules. (Oh, I generally work from 3 p.m. to 2 a.m. Hooray!) Anyway, I was offered a day shift and a slightly better weekend. Now, I've worked nights for the past seven years, so basically I've had the same sleep schedule since college. So, the idea of actually getting up in the morning is a bit intimidating.
Thus, the question: Do I go to the more normal schedule or use this opportunity to say I'll stay on nights but push for a better weekend?
Monday, September 11, 2006
So close, yet so far ...
According to a Harvard study, I am merely 100 miles and one x chromosome away from being among the Americans with the longest life expectancy.
(And yes, I'm just as surprised as you that New Jersey would, as it turns out, foster longevity. Maybe there's some sort of preserving effect in all of those chemicals.)
(And yes, I'm just as surprised as you that New Jersey would, as it turns out, foster longevity. Maybe there's some sort of preserving effect in all of those chemicals.)
Saturday, September 09, 2006
xcfdhuyg809=[-p
Since I do not have a cat, what you see in the title is my simulation of what it might look like if a cat lightly walked across my keyboard.And why would I try to do that? Excellent question!
Lucky for you, someone is worried about preventing feline interference with your computer. PawSense, the site boasts, will "catproof your computer" because it "quickly detects and blocks cat typing."
And: "If you carefully measure cat paws, you will find that practically all cat paws are significantly larger than a typical keyboard key. ... This forces keys and often key combinations down in a distinctive style of typing which includes unusual timing patterns. Cats' patterns of overall movement in walking or lying down also help make their typing more recognizable."
I wish I could go into all the ways I know love PawSense, but you'll just have to check out the site for yourself.
One nagging question: What happens if your cat knows how to work the mouse?
(And as for how I even found this site, I was looking for PAWS, the typing tutor software we all know and love from our childhood. Although now that I think about it, you might not want to try to use PAWS on a computer that has PawSense installed. I'm pretty sure that opens some kind of vortex to another dimension.)
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
A newfound freedom
In the past week, I have been to:
1. A dinner party at which I did not know the hosts.
2. A birthday dinner for a person I did not know.
3. Brunch with a person I had not seen in eight years.
4. A wedding where I knew only the bride and groom.
And I had quite a good time at all of these events. So I figure, at this point, why bother limiting myself to attending events where I have any sort of connection? If I pulled those off, what's to stop me from becoming the next great party crasher?
On a side note, I'm doing quite well on my summer goal of not being here. In the past 10 days, I've been in Connecticut for fewer than four days, a ratio I'll gladly accept. So as long as my friends in D.C. and New York don't start throwing up their arms in despair and mumbling, "Him? Again?" I think I'll be fine.
1. A dinner party at which I did not know the hosts.
2. A birthday dinner for a person I did not know.
3. Brunch with a person I had not seen in eight years.
4. A wedding where I knew only the bride and groom.
And I had quite a good time at all of these events. So I figure, at this point, why bother limiting myself to attending events where I have any sort of connection? If I pulled those off, what's to stop me from becoming the next great party crasher?
On a side note, I'm doing quite well on my summer goal of not being here. In the past 10 days, I've been in Connecticut for fewer than four days, a ratio I'll gladly accept. So as long as my friends in D.C. and New York don't start throwing up their arms in despair and mumbling, "Him? Again?" I think I'll be fine.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Mysterious symbol decoded
I figured out what that icon on my new phone means -- it's for missed calls. I can sort of see how an arrow pointing to a phone would indicate that, but not really. I would prefer a symbol showing a tiny phone ringing while a tiny person is in the shower or something, but I guess you can't always get what you want.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
A terrible mistake
I made a significant blunder this morning regarding my attire. It's 92 degrees today in Washington, with 44 percent humidity -- not exactly denim-friendly weather. So, naturally, I went with a pair of jeans. Not because I didn't have anything else to wear, or even that these are an especially favored pair of jeans. But because I have too much stuff.
The one pair of shorts I brought with me for this trip has shallow pockets, and I've lost things out of them without noticing. With the amount of crap I carry around -- wallet, keys, sunglasses, cell phone, iPod -- I needed the storage space. So if I wind up in the morgue tonight because of dehydration or heat stroke, that's why. Not exactly a noble or heroic way to go, but it is what it is.
About that cell phone: I recently got a new one (It has a full color screen ! It flips open and shut! It has a camera! I'm so ready to go out and tackle 2002!), and aside from the fact it vibrates much more vigorously than my former one did, to the point I let out a "whoa!" yesterday when it went off in my pocket, it has been stumping me with an icon I noticed for the first time last night.
So if anyone has an LG phone and knows what the icon with the arrow pointing to the left side of a tiny phone means, I'd appreciate it ever so much if you could let me in on the secret.
The one pair of shorts I brought with me for this trip has shallow pockets, and I've lost things out of them without noticing. With the amount of crap I carry around -- wallet, keys, sunglasses, cell phone, iPod -- I needed the storage space. So if I wind up in the morgue tonight because of dehydration or heat stroke, that's why. Not exactly a noble or heroic way to go, but it is what it is.
About that cell phone: I recently got a new one (It has a full color screen ! It flips open and shut! It has a camera! I'm so ready to go out and tackle 2002!), and aside from the fact it vibrates much more vigorously than my former one did, to the point I let out a "whoa!" yesterday when it went off in my pocket, it has been stumping me with an icon I noticed for the first time last night.
So if anyone has an LG phone and knows what the icon with the arrow pointing to the left side of a tiny phone means, I'd appreciate it ever so much if you could let me in on the secret.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Yes, I'm a dork
While I was working on this post for TV Goddess, I came across The Stephen Colbert "On Notice Board" Generator.So you can see why it was impossible for me to not go into total geek mode over this.
Post 26, in which I turn the joy of an upcoming nuptials into a miserable observation on my own life
I'll be attending a wedding over Labor Day weekend, and it strikes me that there's a fairly good chance I won't know anybody at this thing other than the bride and groom. I figure this leaves me with a couple of options:
1. Be prepared to make plenty of idle chatter with people I will never see again.
2. Be prepared to empty the mini-bar in my hotel room by myself.
Option #1 seems like the more social, far-cheaper idea. But Option #2 has a certain appeal.
As far as weddings go, it's actually been some time since I've been to one. But I continue to run out of single friends at an alarming rate. I had considered skewing my friends demographic slightly younger to get a new crop of unhitched, but I'm afraid I'm getting too curmudgeonly for that crowd.
(And, frankly, even on my best nights, the appeal of Connecticut nightlife doesn't hold the same attraction it seems to have for some younger people I know. Which in itself is quite curious, considering where some of these folks come from. But I guess when you're that age, it doesn't take much.)
And before I totally depress myself, I'll stop right here.
1. Be prepared to make plenty of idle chatter with people I will never see again.
2. Be prepared to empty the mini-bar in my hotel room by myself.
Option #1 seems like the more social, far-cheaper idea. But Option #2 has a certain appeal.
As far as weddings go, it's actually been some time since I've been to one. But I continue to run out of single friends at an alarming rate. I had considered skewing my friends demographic slightly younger to get a new crop of unhitched, but I'm afraid I'm getting too curmudgeonly for that crowd.
(And, frankly, even on my best nights, the appeal of Connecticut nightlife doesn't hold the same attraction it seems to have for some younger people I know. Which in itself is quite curious, considering where some of these folks come from. But I guess when you're that age, it doesn't take much.)
And before I totally depress myself, I'll stop right here.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
AP buries the lede again
So Haley Joel Osment was charged with drunken driving and marijuana possession in California, but The Associated Press put the key part of the story well down in the story, as it has a tendency to do.
From the last paragraph of the story: "Authorities said Osment was driving home alone about 1 a.m. on July 20 when his 1995 Saturn hit a mailbox in the La Canada Flintridge area and flipped over."
So either Haley, who is 18, is a thrifty lad or all of his money is still locked up in trust for him somewhere. And the shame is, in Hollywood, the fact he drives a '95 Saturn will be the most embarrassing part of the story.
From the last paragraph of the story: "Authorities said Osment was driving home alone about 1 a.m. on July 20 when his 1995 Saturn hit a mailbox in the La Canada Flintridge area and flipped over."
So either Haley, who is 18, is a thrifty lad or all of his money is still locked up in trust for him somewhere. And the shame is, in Hollywood, the fact he drives a '95 Saturn will be the most embarrassing part of the story.
(By the way, this reminds us of the greatest New York Knicks story of all time, in which we learned that in 2000, then-coach Jeff Van Gundy drove a Honda Civic that got tossed into the air and flipped when the team's jet taxied too close.)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Sundae School
It seems there's a battle brewing between my hometown of Ithaca, N.Y., and Two Rivers, Wis., over where the ice cream sundae was invented. Ithaca's schoolchildren have long been taught that their forefathers created this dessert, and along with the city's history of being Hollywood before Hollywood existed, it's a matter of some civic pride.
(Although, come to think of it, I don't know of any local monuments to either the sundae or the film industry, so maybe we're not that proud of either. Or maybe it's just that no one's thought of that, in which case I'll ask for my consulting fee now, thankyouverymuch.)
In fact, it would be lovely to see a giant sundae somewhere in the middle of town, but knowing Ithaca, some vegan/animal rights group would immediately set up an adjacent protest, assuming we could drag them away from the fistulated cow.
(UPDATE: CBS News, apparently predicting a slow news day, is hopping on the bandwagon.)
(Although, come to think of it, I don't know of any local monuments to either the sundae or the film industry, so maybe we're not that proud of either. Or maybe it's just that no one's thought of that, in which case I'll ask for my consulting fee now, thankyouverymuch.)
In fact, it would be lovely to see a giant sundae somewhere in the middle of town, but knowing Ithaca, some vegan/animal rights group would immediately set up an adjacent protest, assuming we could drag them away from the fistulated cow.
(UPDATE: CBS News, apparently predicting a slow news day, is hopping on the bandwagon.)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Birdbrain
Some time ago, I stumbled across a dog IQ test. (Or maybe it was the TV Goddess who found it. I can't remember, which is a fairly good sign of the direction in which this post is headed.)
Anyhow, I decided that I could pass Test 2 in at least 29 seconds, so I'm ahead of the curve there. But recent events have led me to wonder if I should be comparing my intelligence to something more appropriate, such as a bird.
You see, when I was in San Francisco, I went to dim sum with a friend at a well-known place near the Financial District, so it was packed at lunchtime. They gave us one of those pager things that restaurants give out, so we left to wander around while we waited. Or at least that was the plan. Having somehow forgotten that we opened a door to get into the restaurant, I tried to leave without using said door.
Maybe it was the pretty lights and water display out in the courtyard, but I honestly didn't see the door and managed to plant my face, slapstick-comedy style, into the glass. I mumbled "I'm OK" to my friend, opened the door, and scooted as far from the restaurant as I could, as quickly as possible. After determining I was clear of anyone who might be pointing and laughing -- and that I was uninjured -- we wound up going back to the restaurant to wait.
So as we waited for our table, I got the pleasure of seeing a perfect replica of the right side of my face smudged into the glass, with wide spots spreading where my cheek and upper lip were smooshed into the door. It actually was a striking portrait, what with the capturing of the exact moment the bridge of my nose hit the glass and I began to let out a stiffled "ow."
Art is pain, right?
Anyhow, I decided that I could pass Test 2 in at least 29 seconds, so I'm ahead of the curve there. But recent events have led me to wonder if I should be comparing my intelligence to something more appropriate, such as a bird.
You see, when I was in San Francisco, I went to dim sum with a friend at a well-known place near the Financial District, so it was packed at lunchtime. They gave us one of those pager things that restaurants give out, so we left to wander around while we waited. Or at least that was the plan. Having somehow forgotten that we opened a door to get into the restaurant, I tried to leave without using said door.
Maybe it was the pretty lights and water display out in the courtyard, but I honestly didn't see the door and managed to plant my face, slapstick-comedy style, into the glass. I mumbled "I'm OK" to my friend, opened the door, and scooted as far from the restaurant as I could, as quickly as possible. After determining I was clear of anyone who might be pointing and laughing -- and that I was uninjured -- we wound up going back to the restaurant to wait.
So as we waited for our table, I got the pleasure of seeing a perfect replica of the right side of my face smudged into the glass, with wide spots spreading where my cheek and upper lip were smooshed into the door. It actually was a striking portrait, what with the capturing of the exact moment the bridge of my nose hit the glass and I began to let out a stiffled "ow."
Art is pain, right?
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Trip leftover
It turns out I do have an amusing story from my trip: After landing in Portland last Monday, I turned on my cell phone to discover a series of increasingly urgent messages from the TV Goddess, who had agreed to pick me up at the airport. The final one indicated she was leaving me to fend for myself.
As it turned out, she apparently thought my arrival from Chicago was via fighter jet, as she showed up at PDX a mere 90 minutes after my plane (a mere passenger jet) left O'Hare.
In light of the day's news about a plot to blow up planes, however, it seems that fighter jet may be the safest way to fly. Maybe the TV Goddess knows what she's doing.
As it turned out, she apparently thought my arrival from Chicago was via fighter jet, as she showed up at PDX a mere 90 minutes after my plane (a mere passenger jet) left O'Hare.
In light of the day's news about a plot to blow up planes, however, it seems that fighter jet may be the safest way to fly. Maybe the TV Goddess knows what she's doing.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
In-N-Out, tourist attraction
So, after years of hearing from Californians how great In-N-Out was, I finally made it to one in San Jose today. I hear that those of you from SoCal will protest that the ones up here are not the same, so I won't go into my review of the place until I get to eat at one of the joints down there.
But today's experience does give me an excuse to link to this.
I hope it came with a free angioplasty.
But today's experience does give me an excuse to link to this.
I hope it came with a free angioplasty.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Just in case you weren't clear...
Snak King, a snack food manufacturer I had not heard of until two minutes ago, seems to feel that its name does not properly clarify its place in the world of salty, crunchy foods. So, the company feels the need to add the motto "King of Snacks." Maybe it's just a result of too much time in the sun today, but I find that extremely amusing.
In any event, tonight's post is coming to you from San Jose, the city with the chip on its shoulder. (Motto: "Look at us! Look at us! We're bigger than San Francisco, dammit!)
We took in the Giants-Rockies game this afternoon (verdict: I like Safeco Field in Seattle better than Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T), then spent the rest of the afternoon at a top-notch dive bar, which also serves some fairly decent barbecue. (Though I wonder: Does a dive bar lose points for serving barbecue?) And with a tummy full of ribs and beer, we made a quick stop at the Golden Gate Bridge. Really, one of the most spectacular things I've seen.
As for an update on the past few days in Portland, I wussed out and did not crash the former boss' department party. But I did make a quick trip to the ol' office Friday with the TV Goddess. No awkward situations arose, so I'm afraid there's no amusing story here, either.
In fact, this trip has been much too enjoyable for any sort of compelling blog entry, so you'll just have to wait until I get back to Connecticut andsunk sink back into my funk.
In any event, tonight's post is coming to you from San Jose, the city with the chip on its shoulder. (Motto: "Look at us! Look at us! We're bigger than San Francisco, dammit!)
We took in the Giants-Rockies game this afternoon (verdict: I like Safeco Field in Seattle better than Pac Bell/SBC/AT&T), then spent the rest of the afternoon at a top-notch dive bar, which also serves some fairly decent barbecue. (Though I wonder: Does a dive bar lose points for serving barbecue?) And with a tummy full of ribs and beer, we made a quick stop at the Golden Gate Bridge. Really, one of the most spectacular things I've seen.
As for an update on the past few days in Portland, I wussed out and did not crash the former boss' department party. But I did make a quick trip to the ol' office Friday with the TV Goddess. No awkward situations arose, so I'm afraid there's no amusing story here, either.
In fact, this trip has been much too enjoyable for any sort of compelling blog entry, so you'll just have to wait until I get back to Connecticut and
Thursday, August 03, 2006
My expensive habit
I think I've crossed the line into the world of official blogger -- that is, I have no other life -- since I'm paying 30 cents a minute to type this at a Kinko's. But since there is no Internet access where I'm staying (but no, I am not without running water, electricity or even cable), I am doing it this way.
I gather that I'm missing the Northeast's transformation into a blast furnace, and I'm glad for that. For those of you sweating away, I'll report that it's sunny and a pleasant 80 degrees in Portland. Now, I moved away from here because ... ?
Because my former employer here in Portland hasn't bothered to turn off my e-mail access -- and for some reason, I feel compelled to check every few weeks and see if I can still get in -- I know that there's a department party Saturday. So, I'm debating whether I should crash. I don't know if this will be too awkward, and I'm already seeing most of the people I care to see in other settings.
So, what should I do?
I gather that I'm missing the Northeast's transformation into a blast furnace, and I'm glad for that. For those of you sweating away, I'll report that it's sunny and a pleasant 80 degrees in Portland. Now, I moved away from here because ... ?
Because my former employer here in Portland hasn't bothered to turn off my e-mail access -- and for some reason, I feel compelled to check every few weeks and see if I can still get in -- I know that there's a department party Saturday. So, I'm debating whether I should crash. I don't know if this will be too awkward, and I'm already seeing most of the people I care to see in other settings.
So, what should I do?
Monday, July 31, 2006
Mmmmm...
As a native of Central New York, buffalo wings are near and dear to my (slowly clogging) heart.In high school, we used to get lunch at a place that had terrible, terrible pizza but an amusing waitress who would loudly alert the patrons when a local transvestite happened to be in the neighborhood. We also ate a lot of wings there that weren't necessarily that great but did have the one property that good wings should: If you arrive with clogged sinuses, they'll be blown wide open by the time you leave.
Anyhow, I stumbled across this page with wing-eating techniques. I'm partial to the small bone twist and the finger.
And man, I could sure go for some wings now.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Nothing to see here
No, I don't have anything to say today. Sorry. I'll try to be more interesting next week.
But, as of Monday, I'm headed off to the West Coast for a nice, long break. I'll keep you posted.
But, as of Monday, I'm headed off to the West Coast for a nice, long break. I'll keep you posted.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Still waiting for my SAG card
When I was a lad, some casting director decided it would be a good idea to put me in an educational video. Filming took place over a couple of days, and some months later there was a premiere at a local movie theater. I then promply forgot about the project for the next 17 years or so.
(By the way, that and a turn as Gingerbread Child in one performance of a community opera company's rendition of "Hansel & Gretel" are the extent of my "acting" career.)
Anyhow, my sister managed to track down a copy of this video and gave it to me for my birthday last year. I had searched for it on and off over a couple of years and found only that it remains in the inventory of some obviously under-funded public school districts in the U.S. and Canada.
So, to the children of Saskatchewan, I'm sorry.
(By the way, that and a turn as Gingerbread Child in one performance of a community opera company's rendition of "Hansel & Gretel" are the extent of my "acting" career.)
Anyhow, my sister managed to track down a copy of this video and gave it to me for my birthday last year. I had searched for it on and off over a couple of years and found only that it remains in the inventory of some obviously under-funded public school districts in the U.S. and Canada.
So, to the children of Saskatchewan, I'm sorry.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
It *feels* old, dammit
Now that I'm in official countdown mode to 3-0, which I know is not that big a deal these days but is still not a fact I'm willing to accept, I can take pretty much anything as a sign I'm old.
Case in point: I now work with people who went to college with a good friend's younger brother. I remember when this kid was born, forcing us to take our GI Joes elsewhere lest we disturb the sleeping tot. Now he's all grown up and galavanting around Southeast Asia.
I am tempted to shake my fist at him and tell him to quit having so much fun.
Also: For the first time in a long time -- and quite disturbingly -- there are more non-alcoholic drinks in my fridge than drinks containing alcohol. (And that amounts to a whopping two bottles of Samuel Adams. Light.) Man, I suck.
Case in point: I now work with people who went to college with a good friend's younger brother. I remember when this kid was born, forcing us to take our GI Joes elsewhere lest we disturb the sleeping tot. Now he's all grown up and galavanting around Southeast Asia.
I am tempted to shake my fist at him and tell him to quit having so much fun.
Also: For the first time in a long time -- and quite disturbingly -- there are more non-alcoholic drinks in my fridge than drinks containing alcohol. (And that amounts to a whopping two bottles of Samuel Adams. Light.) Man, I suck.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Weird news item of the moment
Normally, I wouldn't make light of an injury that led to someone being blinded, but this is too strange.A Connecticut man is accused of assaulting his wife with ... produce.
And you thought carrots were supposed to be good for your eyesight ...
Light side of the Dark Side
Someone with entirely too much time on his/her hands has edited new James Earl Jones dialogue into "Star Wars" scenes. It's the funniest thing I've seen in some time.
[I originally found this via Screenhead.com]
[I originally found this via Screenhead.com]
Monday, July 17, 2006
Must ... not ... move
Because it is too damn hot to think of anything today, here's some random stuff:- The World Cup is over, but you can never have too many Zidane animations.
- Apparently, lots of people think their cats look like Hitler.
- Popped collars*.
Other highlights of my night included witnessing a Seinfeld-like battle over parallel parking (sedan and SUV both at 45-degree angles; sedan attempting to back into parking space, SUV trying to pull in head-first) and a teenager at a taco joint showing off his palm-reading skills to a rather smitten staff.
Yeah, my life is exciting.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Patrick Ewing would be proud
Remember how Patrick Ewing would look after a particularly grueling stretch of a game -- say 30 or 40 seconds?
Yeah, that's pretty much what D.C. in July does to you. Now, I don't have particularly prolific sweat glands. After a 45-minute workout, I might need to wipe a towel across the back of my neck. But my pores are pretty much Niagara Falls these past few days.
Not that you wanted to know this, but if I'm miserable, you're all my company.
Yeah, that's pretty much what D.C. in July does to you. Now, I don't have particularly prolific sweat glands. After a 45-minute workout, I might need to wipe a towel across the back of my neck. But my pores are pretty much Niagara Falls these past few days.
Not that you wanted to know this, but if I'm miserable, you're all my company.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Bored now
In my line of work, this week is quite literally the slowest time of the year. Yesterday, the last significant piece of work I did was four hours before the end of my shift.All this reminds me of a job I had in 1997, the summer after my sophomore year of college. I was supposed to be helping a research group put up a Web site, but they never got around to the part where they actually gave me something to put on said Web site.
So, I spent most of my days thusly: Eavesdropping on conversations. Cursing at the computer for cheating at Hearts. Opening and peering into my (empty) desk drawers. Looking through every directory on the network to see if something was ready to be posted on the Web site. Hitting the computer for giving my shitty cards in Solitaire. Counting down the last hour until lunch. Taking a two-hour lunch and having no one in the office notice. Coming back from lunch and immediately looking at the clock. Playing with Photoshop in an effort to create graphics, on the off chance I eventually had reason to create a graphic. Becoming an expert at locating and marking explosive devices. Counting down the last hour until it was time to go home. Leaving the office to a cheery "Thanks for coming in!"
(By the way, residents of New York state, I was paid with your tax dollars for doing all of this.)
It got so bad that at least once I actually went to my other job just so I had something to do. The real kick in the gut, though, was that this lousy job was located in the same building in which I was taking a summer class two nights a week, so on those days I had the distinct pleasure of spending the entire friggin' day in the same stuffy building.
After that summer, I distinctly remember vowing never to have any sort of job related to a Web site again, so I'm glad things worked out for me in that regard.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Security is our priority
My company is under the false impression that I would like to have the option of working from home, so instead of a desktop computer I have a laptop. Since I don't take my laptop home, I am supposed to "secure" it in my cubicle.
Recently, the company spent god-knows-how-much on laptop locks for everybody. So for a few months I dutifully tied up my computer each night. More recently, the company decided these locks weren't good enough. One day I was greeted at work with a bright red notice on my desk informing me that my laptop was not "secure," despite being locked up. This was strike one, and if I reached three strikes, security would take my laptop and report me to my supervisor.
Basically, if I didn't take further steps to make sure my laptop was not stolen, security would make sure it was stolen.
All of this is despite the fact one must get past two security checkpoints and through a door secured by an ID card reader just to get in the office to begin with. To those of you who know where I work: No, I am not exaggerating.
So now, instead of being secured with an alarmed lock, my laptop sits in a drawer that doesn't lock at all. I haven't received any notices from security.
Recently, the company spent god-knows-how-much on laptop locks for everybody. So for a few months I dutifully tied up my computer each night. More recently, the company decided these locks weren't good enough. One day I was greeted at work with a bright red notice on my desk informing me that my laptop was not "secure," despite being locked up. This was strike one, and if I reached three strikes, security would take my laptop and report me to my supervisor.
Basically, if I didn't take further steps to make sure my laptop was not stolen, security would make sure it was stolen.
All of this is despite the fact one must get past two security checkpoints and through a door secured by an ID card reader just to get in the office to begin with. To those of you who know where I work: No, I am not exaggerating.
So now, instead of being secured with an alarmed lock, my laptop sits in a drawer that doesn't lock at all. I haven't received any notices from security.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Supermarket envy
In my neck of the woods, we have your Whole Foods, your Trader Joe's, your Wild Oats. All of which are fine and good if you're looking for that type of food. (And in the case of WF, if you also happen to be OK cutting back on other peripheral expenses, such as rent.)While it's dandy to shop organic and all, sometimes your list includes stuff like Cheetos, Mountain Dew LiveWire and other festively colored foodstuffs. So that pretty much means you go to whatever (Safeway, Kroger, Albertsons, etc.) brand operates in your area. Blah.
Thus, I was somewhat heartened recently when I learned that Stew Leonard's is setting up shop a couple of towns over. I say somewhat heartened because I've never quite been sure what to make of the dairy farm/supermarket idea. (FULL DISCLOSURE: It's been about eight years since I've actually set foot in a Stew's. So for all I know, they've abandoned the whole dairy store concept, which, by the way, comes complete with petting zoo, costumed characters and creepy animatronics. But I doubt it.) There's also the maddening Stew Leonard's layout, a maze of narrow one-way aisles that forces you to visit every corner of the store even if all you want is a jar of peanut butter.
But hey, one tends to wander through Stew's with a goofy grin on one's face, so it can't be all bad. It ain't the Supermarket Holy Grail, but we'll settle while we wait and hope.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
More than meets the eye
I just found out about the Transformers movie. I am not sure how I feel about this. On one hand, DreamWorks is involved. On the other, so is Michael Bay. (Although for some reason, I have seen "The Rock" 3,426 times.)
And by the way, Hollywood, I'm now officially waiting for my G.I. Joe and Voltron movies. Even though I know I shouldn't encourage you.
(EDIT, 7/11/06: The writers of "Entourage" stole my disdain for Michael Bay. I could totally be a Hollywood writer.)
And by the way, Hollywood, I'm now officially waiting for my G.I. Joe and Voltron movies. Even though I know I shouldn't encourage you.
(EDIT, 7/11/06: The writers of "Entourage" stole my disdain for Michael Bay. I could totally be a Hollywood writer.)
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Random thought
Something that occurred to me as I was watching the local fireworks display: If a fireworks factory exploded on the Fourth of July, would anyone notice?
Coming soon
Since I've been at this for so long, I've decided it's time to branch out.
So, look for me soon at TV Goddess. I'll be the one spouting off about TV who isn't named DeAnn.
And while I'm at it, does anyone else think the new VW Rabbit commercials are tremendous? (VW will let you breed your own.)
I thought VW's Fast campaign was criminally short-lived, so maybe this one will have a longer shelf life.
So, look for me soon at TV Goddess. I'll be the one spouting off about TV who isn't named DeAnn.
And while I'm at it, does anyone else think the new VW Rabbit commercials are tremendous? (VW will let you breed your own.)
I thought VW's Fast campaign was criminally short-lived, so maybe this one will have a longer shelf life.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Nutmeg!
I prefer to spend as little time in Connecticut as possible -- and, considering this is the third time I've lived in the state, I clearly am not getting through to myself. (OK, the first time wasn't my fault, since it was when I was between the ages of 6 months and 4 years.)
The upside is that it's relatively easy to get out of here. And now that I'm no longer paying a mortgage plus rent, it's a lot easier to do that. So I've made thebold* decision to go to D.C. next week. Now, I've never been to D.C. in July, so I'm bracing myself for some ridiculous humidity. (Also, before May, I hadn't been to D.C. in about 17 years. Now I'll be there twice in three months. Go figure.)
And at the end of July, I'm going back to lovely Portland to visit family, friends and decent beer. I may take a side trip to the Bay Area, too.
That accounts for 13 not-in-Connecticut days this summer. Any help in increasing that number is greatly appreciated.
* Nothing bold about the decision. I have no idea why I wrote that.
The upside is that it's relatively easy to get out of here. And now that I'm no longer paying a mortgage plus rent, it's a lot easier to do that. So I've made the
And at the end of July, I'm going back to lovely Portland to visit family, friends and decent beer. I may take a side trip to the Bay Area, too.
That accounts for 13 not-in-Connecticut days this summer. Any help in increasing that number is greatly appreciated.
* Nothing bold about the decision. I have no idea why I wrote that.
Friday, June 30, 2006
*thud*
As you can see, I'm off to a rousing start at this. But combine my very dull life with my recent move to a very dull part of the country, and, well, that's just a recipe for a whole lotta nothin.
On the bright side, I have a couple of trips to more interesting locales on the calendar, so there's hope for me yet.
On the bright side, I have a couple of trips to more interesting locales on the calendar, so there's hope for me yet.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Durrr ...
There are songs that burrow their way into your brain (SEE: Black Eyed Peas), making it impossible to shake the awfulness. And you know you're getting dumber every time those annoying hooks scroll through your head.
Then there's this. I was hoping Americans would show some restraint and let this fade quietly into the ether, much as we had allowed Eddie Murphy's singing career to. Alas, Ms. Hilton's little ditty appears to be making its way into regular rotation. (At the very least, could someone please start another payola investigation? That would restore some of my faith in mankind.)
Now, whereas a Black Eyed Peas song merely shaves a few IQ points you didn't really need anyway, when one listens to "Stars Are Blind," one can actually feel one's brain melting and beginning to ooze out one's ears. As I found today, the song is capable of putting you into some sort of stupor, which made me quite the road hazard as I was driving at the time.
All this is just a very long-winded way of saying that, after a couple of listens to "Stars Are Blind," I feel I'm at the level at which I need to be to enter the blogosphere.
HA!
I'm just kidding, of course. I know of many bloggers who are able to walk and chew gum. And I was known to occasionally wander into street signs and low-hanging branches well before I ever heard Paris Hilton sing.
So what the hey, here goes ...
Then there's this. I was hoping Americans would show some restraint and let this fade quietly into the ether, much as we had allowed Eddie Murphy's singing career to. Alas, Ms. Hilton's little ditty appears to be making its way into regular rotation. (At the very least, could someone please start another payola investigation? That would restore some of my faith in mankind.)
Now, whereas a Black Eyed Peas song merely shaves a few IQ points you didn't really need anyway, when one listens to "Stars Are Blind," one can actually feel one's brain melting and beginning to ooze out one's ears. As I found today, the song is capable of putting you into some sort of stupor, which made me quite the road hazard as I was driving at the time.
All this is just a very long-winded way of saying that, after a couple of listens to "Stars Are Blind," I feel I'm at the level at which I need to be to enter the blogosphere.
HA!
I'm just kidding, of course. I know of many bloggers who are able to walk and chew gum. And I was known to occasionally wander into street signs and low-hanging branches well before I ever heard Paris Hilton sing.
So what the hey, here goes ...